


The Quarantini

by BadBlond099



Series: Familiarity Breeds... [10]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League Odyssey, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood: Outlaw - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Almost smut, Cuz we're all stir crazy, Generation Outlaw, James Bond Theme, M/M, Ma Gunn's School for Wayward Kids, Mistakes were made, Quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24241798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBlond099/pseuds/BadBlond099
Summary: He locked up the garage using the extra security Roy had installed a while back before scaling up the fire escape to his apartment. He slipped in the window to very different ambiance; red hanging lights illuminated the room, saxophone music played in the background, and Dick was in the kitchen, dressed in slacks, cuffs, and a black bowtie. The moment his eyes landed on Jason, he raised the cocktail shaker next to his head and began shaking.“Did I take a wrong turn and wind up on a Chip n’ Dales set?” Jason asked.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Familiarity Breeds... [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731799
Comments: 12
Kudos: 53





	The Quarantini

**Author's Note:**

> Yo!
> 
> Fighting to make some progress on my other works, but for now, still a little lost in the block spiral...
> 
> Background info for this chapter is just being a little more up to date on the Red Hood: Outlaw series. Basically this is taking things as if they're happening in the current timeline (except no Ric Grayson... Can't quite handle that). Otherwise it's just the usual dicking around.
> 
> As always, don't take this too seriously. It's all in good fun! This is part of a series of quarantine-themed short fics based on my favorite ship that I'm writing to help keep my brain active and combat the quarantine writer's block. It's not necessary to read the others to enjoy this one since they're all a little light on plot.
> 
> And I hope you enjoy!

Upkeep on Jason’s gear took some time. He was going out on patrol significantly less often these days, but that didn’t excuse a gun jamming in the field. On top of that he had some calls he had to make in order to ensure all of his associates were doing well.

“Sorry I can’t be there, Art. I’m already on bad enough terms with the Bat. The last thing I need is to have him up my ass during all of this.”

[I can’t imagine why he’d be upset. So what if you’re taking care of Luthor’s little criminals of tomorrow?] Hearing that snark in her voice never ceased to bring a smile to his face. [Don’t worry. Honestly, the way we’re all built, I think Gunn may be the only one at risk. Biz and I are making sure the kids are kept busy. We just raided a terrorist weapon’s stock last week. Ma Gunn’s School for Wayward Children is probably the most well-stocked artillery in Gotham, and I’ve SEEN the Batcave.]

“Yeah, no way Bruce can get pissed at me when I’m building up a weapon’s cache under his nose,” Jason joked. “Do me a favor and get butterscotch pudding for Ma. And Babe likes the blueberry applesauce. And for some reason she says potatoes help to refuel he zombie that carries her around. And have Biz accompany Dev to the junkyard soon if he hasn’t already. I’m sure the guy’s tired of whatever bits of scrap metal the old lady has lying around.”

[They’ll be fine, Jason. I promise. Tell your boyfriend I said hi.]

“Not likely. Take care of yourself.” Jason hung up and sighed. He’d just finished reloading the electric charges on his handguns. When he’d come down to the garage, he’d left Dick in the living room, criticizing the athletes’ form on American Ninja Warrior. It was high time he went back up, if only to make sure Dick hadn’t blown the place up in his absence.

He locked up the garage using the extra security Roy had installed a while back before scaling up the fire escape to his apartment. He slipped in the window to very different ambiance; red hanging lights illuminated the room, saxophone music played in the background, and Dick was in the kitchen, dressed in slacks, cuffs, and a black bowtie. The moment his eyes landed on Jason, he raised the cocktail shaker next to his head and began shaking.

“Did I take a wrong turn and wind up on a Chip n’ Dales set?” Jason asked, inching closer and closer until he was walking his fingers from Dick’s navel to his sternum.

“Of course not, Sir.” Jason grimaced at the title, but Dick smiled and kept us his little game. He stopped shaking the drink when Jason’s fingers intertwined with the bowtie, dragging him into kissing range. “Erm! We’ve been expecting you.”

“‘We’? I hope that’s the royal ‘we,’” Jason grumbled.

[How joyous to see you in such good health!]

Jason smirked upon hearing Starfire’s voice. He sighed and let Dick go, finding the cell phone where the face-time call was set up. “Well, we’re one man short of a reunion,” he said lightly.

[Yes. I have been missing Roy.] Kori lifted the bottle of high-end vodka she had sitting on the table with her and noted, [I have been told it is customary to ‘pour one bottle out for our dead’?] She popped the cork out and began to tilt the bottle.

“Ah, stop!” Jason put a hand up. “First, it’s just a shot. You pour a shot. Second: Roy was an addict. Let’s not sully his memory with booze. That’s just wrong.”

[Yes…that would be most unkind.]

“How goes the quarantine for you?”

[Oh, we have been far away from Earth. We are aware of the situation and are hoping for the best from here. It sounds most annoying to have to isolate away from one’s friends. But it is nice to see you two getting along.]

“Oh, Jay—I mean, Sir and I are getting along just fine.”

“Enough with the Bond thing, Dickwad. Based on what’s going on I’d say you called Kor up to have a drink with us? How about you pour one out for this dead guy, hot-stuff?”

Both Dick and Kori booed at his bad joke, but Dick stopped shaking the drink and poured a couple of glasses out while she poured a shot of vodka for herself.

[I do so love the way that your earth drinks can taste like fires of the sun!] Kori exclaimed, holding her shot glass up.

“Here’s to one day drinking together in a bar again,” Jason said, holding his glass up.

He hadn’t thought much of the oddly dark coloration to the drink, figuring Dick had just looked up something online while he was away. But the moment the concoction touched the back of this throat it came right back out. It was all he could do to turn in time to make sure he didn’t spray the laptop.

“Jay? Jay, oh shit!”

[Hmm. It would seem the drink you prepared was not as good as the internet described.]

“The…the fuck is that?” Jason yelped, actually scrambling away from the drink.

[It was from the memes!]

Jason gave Dick a death glare.

“Ummm, the internet’s calling it the ‘Quarantini.’ It’s just a mix of the almost empty bottles in lying around your place of quarantine.”

“Fuck! Awww that tastes like battery acid!”

[Something makes me worry that this is not the romantic gesture you had intended?]

Dick pushed his own glass further away from him on the counter. “Nope. No, I can’t say poisoning him is quite what I had in mind."


End file.
